the bad kind of pain

yesterday i woke up and my back hurt so bad.  it had been tight the night before and being on teh treadmill didn’t help it much.  i would have called in to work but i knew that someone else in the department had the day off and that wouldn’t work.  so i went in and [...]

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end of the week

a few days ago i had started a post about laziness and how i think it is linked to negativity or maybe the other way around but i didn’t have a chance to finish it.  so i will attempt a summary of it now.  basically last week my name should have been lazy because i [...]

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work is over…weekend is here

so i am trusted at work and i like that.  i like that my input matters and that my manager knows that i am not playing games or blowing smoke up her ass…but sometimes it sucks.  i was covering someone’s vacation so was working in a different place with different people.  shit went down that [...]

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Pain is my friend…

that is what a certain Someone has told me and well i think we are testing that theory completely.  last Thursday and Friday i wore my tack bra so that i would have beautiful marks going in to get my tattoo done.  believe me i thought about that while i was wearing the bra those [...]

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good as new…bring on the pain

i am feeling much better today so hooray!  and yesterday i worked it out so that i could go in early today and tomorrow.  this is so great for me because testing right now means there has been a lack of jobs all week.   it makes me happy.  i am thankful that they are willing [...]

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wanting pain

last night i asked if i could do rubber bands, put rubber bands around my breasts.  it has been a while since i have done it and i just wanted to feel that again.  i was told i could and to keep them on as long as i could stand it.  i only put 10 [...]

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new things

many more sessions of pins and ice…then we started with the fishing line.  whenever there is something new i always find myself asking lots of questions…and it is not just with this, it is with everything.  just ask thsi guy at work.  he is always giving me projects and i end up calling him and [...]

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who says distractions aren’t helpful??

work was better today although i still had my moments.  i found myself second guessing a lot of the things i did which is stupid because i have been there almost 2 years.  i know what to do.  so i was kind of annoyed at that reaction in myself. i was told to take my [...]

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Protected: Limits?

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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headspace remains

as i sat down to write this post the first time, i was going to write about how my headspace although less intense than yesterday has still been about desiring pain.   i was going to write about how i crave that pain and although i could still focus on work today, my free moments were [...]

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