big week

today i started my new position at work and i love it.  there is a lot to learn but i pick up on things quickly usually so i am not worried.  there is always lots to do also so it makes the day go by so fast!  the person who is training me is really great and she moved from my previous position to where she is now about a year ago so she knows both sides.  it is nice.  i am only working three days this week and then i have my birthday thursday which i am taking off work.  i am taking friday off too so i can go up and see my family for a bit.  i am excited to hold my nephew again.  saturday i am coming back so i can go to a wedding for people at work.  then sunday morning i have my baptism which i am really looking forward to. 

speaking of the wedding i went to the bachelorette party last friday night and my gosh i had such an awesome time.  i have not let go like that since my last birthday.  we went to a club that plays 80’s music and danced and danced and danced.  it was awesome.  so i have a lot coming up and i am looking forward to all of it!

thoughts in motion

my birthday is in one week.  i am not nearly as worked up about it as i was last year.  now i am excited about going up and seeing my family, holding my nephew, and playing with my niece.  then a few days later i have my baptism which is also exciting.  it seems like there is so much going on lately and my thoughts are endless.  i have actually been writing little tidbits but then just saving them on wordpad documents.  they are little thoughts or questions i have at the end of the day.  most of it has been faith related lately so i am keeping some of that to myself.  but all in all it is good.  i love writing because it is an outlet that is unmatched by other things.  so yea i am still here although not all that expressive on my blog in the last few weeks.  just lots of thoughts and exciting things in the near future.  i will keep checking in and write when i have things to share.  maybe a poem or two coming up, we shall see…

the snooze button and words

lately it has been so hard to get up in the morning.  i was never one to use snooze on my alarm, and i mean never…not even in college.  so now that i started using it, i am like what are you doing??  i really really need to get back into a schedule because when i was getting the same amount of sleep every night, i was more awake and in the mornings it wasn’t hard to get up at all because i felt rested.  so that is being added to my goals.  my other one? watching what i say.  i think those two are sufficient for the time being.  i heard someone say once that no one should ever leave your presence feeling less than…less than capable, less than smart, less than great, you name it.  they should always walk away feeling more than.  i thought about that and that is a weighty concept.  i know the impact that words have on me and i know that when people encourage me or even just give me a good thinking or way to go with that…it matters.  so anyway, that is where my thoughts are right now.

productive and relaxing? wow who knew

This last weekend was both productive and relaxing.  in other words i had a great weekend!  friday night i went grocery shopping with meal plans in mind.  that definitely helps with staying on budget.  it is also really helpful when you have thought out lunches for the week, less temptation to go out and get something i really want instead of just something i threw in a bag on my way out the door.  saturday was football day of course and my Spartans won, hooray!  i also made a batch of laundry soap which turned out awesome.  i love it that it saves me so much money.  in the afternoon i made ham, cheese, and potato soup…it was as good as it sounds.  i am reading an interesting book called “Magdalene” and was able to get into that on commercials and in between games.  saturday night i watched Coyote Ugly.  i forgot how much i liked that movie, how fun. 

Sunday was another day of getting things done.  i went to church and let me tell ya i am learning more and more and just enjoying the direction i am headed in.  i came home and it was like this cleaning bug infected me.  i am ashamed to say that i still had quite a few boxes from the move months and months ago.  i got rid of about 4 of those and cleaned out the fridge, took out the garbage.  next it was laundry time and i did about 6 loads throughout the afternoon and evening.  i made sloppy joes for lunches this week and then had some time to relax and watch tv/movies.  i still have not gotten my Phantom of the Opera fix yet.  (i happened upon the soundtrack in my CD case last week and it made me want to watch it again…i love that musical)  but things are great!  i am healthy again and looking forward.

blah week

i did go up to see my family last weekend and am just now getting around to writing about it?? well the kids are sick so inevitably, i came back and starting not feeling so well.  more of that later.  i did have a good time hanging out with them.  my niece is just a bundle of energy…and her facial expression, it all just cracks me up!  i played with her a little but the poor thing has an ear infection and a cough.  my nephew was so congested, he sounded like a grunting pig.  i felt so bad for him because he is only 6 weeks old.  but i tell ya what he is a chunker and i love it!  he is such a little football.  i got to hold him a lot which of course i revelled in.  i also got to visit with my dad which is always nice.  i went to the apple orchardon sunday and had such a good time watching the kids and just being outside.  i cannot wait until my niece and nephew are bigger and we can go pick apples.  we did that when i was little and it was SO fun. 

this has been a blah kind of week.  sore throat started withe the cooler weather and then sinus headaches.  i wanted to sleep fro about two days and then my staomch started acting up so you know i will be glad when the weekend is here.  only one more day!  hooray!

and there was much rejoicing…

tomorrow is Friday and if that is not one of the happiest statement that can be said in a week, lol.  i am glad it is friday for the obvious reason of the weekend being here but also because i get to go see my niece and nephew this weekend.  i am so excited to see them and see how they have grown, to hold the baby and play with my niece.  we are supposed to go to the cider mill as well which will be a lot of fun with donuts, apples, and cider, pumpkins, and maybe even a pony ride for my niece…we will see how that turns out.  my guess is that she will freak but we shall see.  so let’s see…the weekend, football, seeing my family, cider mill…oh yes did i say that i was a happy girl?  i am!

rough spot

today was rough.  work is trying to screw me out of vacation time because i went from part time to full time.  it is completely unfair that there is a gap of 6 months between my old anniversary date and my new one where i don’t get what i earned.  but since it is unclear in the policy i don’t think anything is going to come of it.  i am raggin and already emotionally crazy and then when i get mad i cry so it was worse.  on my lunch i drove and parked somewhere just to get away.  i called some people and actually got to talk to my sister about it.  then i just sat and listened to music and prayed.  i went back feeling better and just trusting that everything would settle down and we would see what happens.  i am gonna wait a few days and then talk to someone else if i have to.  it was also just tense at work with people being in bad moods.  it makes it hard.  but tomorrow is a new day and it will be better.

What was i saying about finances?

Thursday night i wrote on here about how the last two months have been hard and i was really just staying positive believing that everything would work out.  Friday i was at work and on my lunch when my manager took me into her office and asked me about changing positions.  i was excited because she told me there would be more money involved.  so i thanked her for the heads up and then after lunch, i got pulled into the president’s office and offered the position which included at significant raise in november when i start and then a re-evaluation in january for a possibility of another raise.  i am SO thankful and just blown away by how things came together.  it is so exciting to see your faith and beliefs turn things around.

i was talking to one of my friends from work today and telling her about everything…the promotion, my baptism, how everything is changing and working out so well.  she said wow sounds like you are in the middle of some big changes and i said yea and it is so great.  she said can you show me how to do that? i laughed and she said no i am not being funny, i am being serious.  i knew that she was struggling and she has been for a while.  she has gotten herself so bad into a hole of depression and negativity that it is hard to talk to her anymore and hard to be around her.  i told her about how everything is a choice, a decision that you make to be positive.  is thinking optimistically going to affect you negatively in any way? no, so why not think that way? i told her that she just needs to take it a step at a time.  if she hates her job, she needs to plan for something else and in the meantime, decide that it is not going to be negative all the time.  they throw shit at you, YOU decide how you react to it.  so hopefully she takes what i said to heart and turns things around.  i know from experience that it is hard but it is something you have to do or you will just keep being miserable.  i am so so glad that i have changed and am so much happier. *S*

thoughts

the last two months have been really hard with finances.  that is one time when i find myself really becoming stressed or worried.  it changes me…people can tell that something is wrong.  for the most part i have been really good about it.  i have had two really quiet days when it just took over my focus but mostly i am doing really well at trusting…trusting that everything will work out.  can believing that make it any worse? does having that faith affect me negatively? then why wouldn’t i choose to think that way? 

i have decided to get baptized because i have never been except when i was a baby and i don’t think that was a baptism because i didn’t know what was happening.  so anyway, i started writing my story to be able to tell beforehand and i was looking through a journal to find something.  i found a page that talked about choice and it made me smile.  i know that it takes me hearing something more than a few times to really take it and run with it, for it to sink in.  in the journal i was talking about how much i disliked my job and i had a supervisor that found out and every day he would come and ask me if i loved my job.  it became a joke after a while.  then one day he came and told one of my co-workers that i didn’t like my job to which she replied well neither do i, lol.  he said you need to change that and she said i pray every day that God will change my heart toward my job.  and he said, “you don’t need a change of heart, you need to change your mind.  you just need to decide differently.”  i love that.  it is about deciding and purposing to act or react differently.  i am getting baptized and my story will bring up my mom and some things that happened along my journey of faith.  some things probably are not great for her to hear me tell people.  i struggled with what to do.  i struggled with should i invite mom, should i not tell her, what should i do.  i got some great advice and some encouragement and truth.  the decision is not about my mom, it is about me and my faith.

a guy is not just gonna fall from the sky…

so i was told today by some people at work that i need to make myself more marketable, put myself out there, that “a guy is not just gonna fall from the sky into my living room.”  well damn…can i sign up for that option?  i would really like that.  my response was like i have never heard that before…you have to put yourself out there, they are not going to come to you.  yes i have heard it and yes i believe it is true.  it is just one of those things that i think it i easier said than done.  i have gotten a lot better.  i am no longer just sitting at home chatting on the computer.  i hang out with friends a lot and go out and do things by myself more.  (i am not a hermit, lol)  it is good though and i think part of it is not dwelling on being alone.  it helps with the way i carry myself and just makes me happier overall.  so things are going well…work is going well, personally i am feeling great, i have been laughing more and more.  i was even told last night that i sounded grown up which made me laugh like crazy…mostly because it was followed up with did you get laid? my god the things he doesn’t say.  laughter…is there much better than that?